Last month, I was asked to join a wonderful group of fellow photographers in a Letter to Our Sons blog circle. I have followed a circle of photographers as they write letters to their daughters and I always hoped someone would initiate this for our boys, too. And hoped I’d be welcomed to join! Sure enough, some sweet mamas decided it should be done and this circle was created. Each month, on the 10th day, I’ll post a letter to my boys and hope you’ll follow the link and continue reading around the circle. You’re sure to see some amazing images along the way, and read encouraging, touching, humorous letters as well!
To my little boys …
On the day I was to write and post my first letter last month, I really wasn’t feeling up to it. I was late to this group anyway, so it was fine that I didn’t write a letter, but I’m not sure I could have anyway. We had just started our year of homeschooling and I was feeling quite down. You all know this, as I’m not very good about hiding my emotions. After a busy summer with my business, I felt discouraged and inadequate as your mama. I wasn’t feeling up to the challenge of being a good mama to three boys, let alone a good, homeschooling, stay-at-home mama to three little boys.
Over the past month though, this has been my prayer: “Lord, the gift of being a parent is not one that I deserve but one you’ve blessed me with anyway. Please make me feel the joy of parenting through the ups and the downs, and to be the patient, kind, encouraging, loving parent to my boys, as you are to me.”
In praying this, my little boys, I have felt an uplifting change in my heart. I still feel the incredible responsibility it is to be a parent, and the incredible energy it takes to be a parent to boys. In an awesome and encouraging way. God has shown me, too, that I was wasting way too much of my energy and attention on things that are not priorities … that I was fitting you guys into my schedule rather than having you BE my schedule.
You see, sweet boys, I had begun to overlook what a privilege it is to be EVERYTHING to you. I was feeling it was more important to be something to everyone else. Thankfully, I also began feeling a crazy discord about that, knowing it wasn’t the way it is supposed to be for me.
Again, I know you boys know that I went through this, because you’ve heard me say this prayer many times in the past month. And I know you’ve seen this positive shift in me, too. Not a shift in my love or devotion … my love and devotion to you is unconditionally, never-ending.
But a shift in the pleasure I take in the uninterrupted time and attention I am able to give you and how fulfilled I feel by “just being a mom.”
“Just being YOUR mom” is the greatest gift God could give me … the greatest responsibility and the greatest honor! It is now my prayer that I would embrace, appreciate, and enjoy that truth, each and every day.
All my love …
Please head over to the amazing Jessica Vaughn site to read her letter, too! And then read on and on around the circle.